From the desk of D. Climacks and Drake.

Apologies for the abrupt hiatus, but unfortunately those happen quite a bit by natural law. You never know when you’re going to be hoisted off of your office chair, told you’re being presented with a paid vacation lasting long enough to do a complete psychological evaluation and instill a restlessness man is not known to in someone wedded to their work. What I am saying is, the update status of this blog is not out of fickleness, but rather should be a testament of the uncontrollable nature of where I work. However, there has  been no closing announcement on this project, so as I return to work, I return to it as well.

I will return to answering inquiries. We have several gathering dust that need getting-to. Expect us soon. As always, the question box is always open.

Regards,

Dr. D. Climacks.

thescpfoundation:

I made some more SCP Valentines. Find last year’s cards here.

The Foundation would like to wish you all a very Happy, fruitful, and safe. Valentines day.

- D. Climacks

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DRAKE: Many of you probably aren’t surprised to hear that Party Cat is exceptionally good at learning and remembering dates. Really. Somehow he learned of the triplet’s birthday down is Area [DATA EXPUNGED] and we personally went to bring them cupcakes. Neither of us have spoken to each other before. I had to explain I was with the cat and not the other way around.

We take our job very seriously, dealing with all these -for lack of better word- bizarre SCPs, so it’s not ideal for partying by human standards. Party Cat seems to adapt well enough, but he gets antsy if he doesn’t do something party-related for at least four hours each day. We have a test scheduled soon to see how quickly he can go from Lounge Party to Bar Mitzfa.

CLIMACKS: These types of SCPs are actually right up the alley of a newly-ranked researcher. There’s always one or two in your line of work that seem to stick with you. For I and my partner, it seems to be this bizarre cat.

DRAKE: I think he’s adorable!

SCP-PARTY CAT: [purrs]

Additional Note: A few of us are planning a small “Holidays Lunch” in a few weeks, and P. Cat’s put himself in charge. That’s definitely something to look forward to! … Not sure where he got the disco ball from, though. - Dr. Drake

CLIMACKS: It is between the level of pay you’d expect intense, dangerous research and the realistic constraints of a privately funded organizaton. Those of us who are in it are in it for the science. However, that doesn’t mean our paychecks are mere scrimpings for the research and testing we accomplish.

Please accept this image I googled as an accurate representation of how nicely I live. Isn’t it pleasant?

DRAKE: Uh… Wow, Doctor. Do you really live in a nice place like that?

CLIMACKS: I can’t post a photo of my real apartment, but yes. My apartment looks just as unlived in as any magazine picture. My real home is on the breakroom couch when I have a mere seven hours between my shifts.

DATE: 10-22-2012

Doctors Climacks and Drake have been granted permission to test with SCP-978. Their results have been recorded below, and added to SCP-978’s test logs.

—-

Subject: Dr. D. Climacks
Photographed Activity: Standing in front of the camera with a neutral expression, arms crossed behind back.
Photo Result: Doctor is surrounded in what appears to be a host club by various handsome men serving pink champagne, dressed in a black evening dress and wearing makeup for the first time that we can tell. Doctor denies any further questions.

Subject: Dr. Drake
Photographed Activity: Smiling for the camera, neutral pose with hands folded before them.
Photo Result: Doctor asleep with party cat in large cushioned seat, surrounded by pillows and comforters, appears to be wearing a woman’s silk nightgown. Doctor admits to having recent sleeping problems.

—-

[SCP-978]

Understand that we can’t let them walk freely even if they are on the edge of harmless. It’s not a pleasant choice we like to make, but we do the best we can to accomodate them. Depending on who it is, they’re allowed free roam of the location and even are allowed to help staff from time to time.

Living habitats, if you’ll excuse the scientific term, are very homey and furnished to their requests and are more or less like a small house; obviously some trigger objects must be removed and good behavior/responsibility is rewarded when their overseers deem it so.

We do grant requests as we understand we are restricting their freedom for the greater good, and if we can do it, we will. There was an instance where a younger SCP wanted to see a midnight showing of a movie. Accompanied by two researchers and a minor Task Force undercover as a birthday celebration, we granted that request with no incident whatsoever. Said subject was very happy and future requests to see movies will be granted the same way.

On a completely unrelated note, Hotel Transylvania is a fun movie. Trailers didn’t do it justice at all.

DRAKE: Where do I begin… You can guess as the “Friggin’ New Guy”, I had my share of office-related pranks my first week here. It was after the recent Breach when the other staff members started to treat me a little more nicely.

But, if you really want to know… It was during our five-month hiatus, when I was training at Site [DATA EXPUNGED]. It was there I started to pick up my caffeine addiction, due to all the demands I had to keep up with. I mixed sodas and energy shots with almost every drink, excluding water. One night when Dr. Climacks and I were working overtime, I ended up mixing a can of what I thought was Pepsi Cola with my coffee, and… Uh, anyways, that was a night I hope everyone at Site [DATA EXPUNGED] will soon easily forget.

-Dr. Drake

Additional Note: I did my best to delete any photographic evidence of my first night of rum liquor. Unless the higher-ups are keeping any copies, you aren’t going to see anything.

CLIMACKS: Well, when Drake feels the need to loosen up after a good forty-eight hour lockdown, she knows where to go.

I, on the other hand… can’t understand her enthusiasm for it. Or that dance.

I will give you what you probably want to hear, however. Yes, in the past, in terms of detaining one SCP, we have put in research towards using another SCP to help contain it if it has unique properties in regards to the first SCP in question. We have had our successes.

But no, there have been no ‘grudge matches’ to my knowledge. Anything living or sentient enough to ‘pit’ against another one of our subjects is cruel and unusual abuse of power, SCP or not. Also, it is a good way to get fired or worse, especially if you’re class D.

ASDFGHJKJHGFDS YOU'RE BACK!! :D
Anonymous

Please forgive our extended hiatus. We pull no punches when it comes to training someone from Access Level 1 to 2, and training Doctor Drake has been my primary project. Five months is a long time, but we are assuredly pleased to be back and answering your questions.

Regards, D Climacks